Vows….. (I Do) The Conclusion

“Dearly beloved”, today we’re gathered here to witness these 2 individuals who shall be united as one. Every wedding has the story that many are anxious yet so inquisitive on researching. As the beginning of a foundation that begins with the words “I do” leaves the memorable finale to a dream so many fathom to share. As I stare through her Veil, the smile that immediately melted my guard of defense helplessly snatches away the very words I wish to express…. here goes…. You’re the closest I’ll ever get to Heaven, an angel I’m honored to entitle “my own”, if love is as gentle as you then I know I have nothing to fear. There’s no star that could ever shine the way do, no Christmas that could ever merry without you, no day that could fulfill my tomorrow without you, my everything would be nothing without you. I give you this ring as I give you my soul, trusting you with every breath I am, with every dream I have and every forever we’ll have together. I Love you, I appreciate you, privileged to be with you till the day we separate through eternal passing…. always and forever more.

– C.A. Thomas

Time

Time never stops, never sleeps yet it breathes as much as us. I wish I could bargain with time in hopes of revisiting the past. On this rewinding adventure I’d relive my first kiss, prevent my first encounter, warning my younger self the dangers of manipulation and heartbreaks. Along the way I’d visit my great grandfather, trying my best in convincing him the repercussions behind smoking, the embracing of my great grandmother in hopes of her dodging a fatal stroke. I’d warn a best friend of following a dangerous path, instilling the idea of his child desperately needing a father, an argument I encountered with a woman that could’ve prevented a fatal collision on I-20. Time is no friend of mine, time never agreed to work on my behalf, time never shows favoritism nor does it grieve over the loss of anyone who no longer decides their own fate. I tried relentlessly racing time with every inch of breath my body could take, gasping reminded me that time always wins. Time shall continue moving on…… so shall I.

– C.A. Thomas

Looked Over (Option)

I’m absolutely certain many of you can touch basis on this very topic. As my gift to you I’ll break the ice and introduce you to a moment in my life where this very thing occurred. Years ago in my much younger days there was a young lady who caught my eye. The smile embedded within her DNA easily blinded all physical attributes she inherited. As the shy “Clark Kentish” type of guy I was I made momentarily efforts in orchestrating events in capturing her attention. Once she took notice my esteem enhanced to a new level of dominance that I felt required to maintain her balance of visual. It was only a matter of time in understanding the phrase “good things coming to an end” with a guy who’s demeanor is completely opposite of mine. He comes along, makes her laugh, wordplays her curiosity with enough convincing to establish myself as the “option.” Soon the option becomes a few “hey or hellos” through passing, leading up to the beginning of a relationship with the wrong person. From that moment on I realized that each of us are options to someone who’s intentions are to single out choices that concludes the best decision as a final achievement.

You’re the final achievement to someone who treats you as the priority.

– C.A. Thomas

Layers

People have “walls” they place to prevent future misfortune or humanly disappointment.  I prefer the term “Layers.” We’re already equipped with emotions and our feelings are generated through time, seeing that before layers are introduced pure honesty itself is distributed before life alters the very two words that begins the very layer… ugly truth. Perception changes, taste becomes bitter as the view of Life reveals a whole new story that’s only explained from individuals who’ve exhibited the “peeling of layers” or exhausted all possibilities of loving the way their fruit (heart) truly aspires. People will come forth and initially peel our layers, some for satisfaction, gratification, selfishness or even genuineness. The very fruit of our possession are protected by these very layers designed for its true purpose….. for the peeling of someone capable of handling and loving the very details that defines  us a human being……. (peeling)

– C.A. Thomas

Identity (Who are you?)

You’d be surprised how many people walk this very earth searching for themselves. Filled with judgement and hypocrisy makes standing out more scarier than blending in. Realizing who you are defines you, gives you a self entitlement that no can can copyright, plaguerize or duplicate. The road to identity begins with you, a road that’s destined for you to travel alone with a few passengers that’ll either assist you with directions or simply detouring with misinformed information. Identity has no time limit nor does it hold you accountable for multiple chances in the search, it only desires the achieved happiness as well as the suitor. Your life and choices are only a rough draft….. you my friend are the final copy.

– C.A. Thomas

Colorblind (through my eyes)

Although the world is separated through color I view it as being “colorblind.” We as people are prone to struggles, hardships, trials and disappointments yet our blood is red when exposed to the very air we breathe. To fit in for acceptance requires color of sort yet we all desire the need to feel wanted. If color defines us as a people then imagine if we’re all colorblind to the very situations brought about through color. It’s obvious that color allows us to act a certain way, love a different way, react in an usual way with colorblind that could teach us all to look beyond the skin. Sadly, the world will never see this through my eyes.

– C.A. Thomas

Letting Go 

I realize it’s much harder letting go than holding on. It’s hard letting go of people who never held on, it’s hard letting go of people who’ve held on for so long till their bodies disagreed with their decisions. I’ve learned it’s more difficult letting go of anything good because good itself doesn’t come around too often, and neither do people or opportunities. Some things you try your best holding onto and at times you tend to lose sight of the character you’ve established. Letting go could possibly free decisions, possibly close chapters, but even letting go requires the mindset of the will to live.

– C.A. Thomas

Romantic Thoughts 

Could I share my thoughts with you?

Nothing sexual but more of a romantic type setting. You see, even I realize how simple it is to fulfill a desire explicitly but right now I want you mentally. Let’s start off a bit slow, we’re passed the name phase, numbers already placed in “favorites” and right now you’ve managed to consume my thoughts. My thoughts begin with us paddling down a lake, the sun guiding us as the tune of Marvin Gaye hums beneath my breath. The outlining of your existence I trace repeatedly as my eyes promise never to leave you. The clouds are our music notes that we follow accordingly, such sweet sound we are together as the water ripples our new memory together. I wish to feed you all the trust in my fingertips with love as the dessert I took the time in preparing for us. You’re my romantic thought.

– C.A. Thomas

Vows….. (I Do) Part 1

On this day, your wedding day, our wedding day I envision myself at the altar. Standing before witnesses I exhibit the butterflies description, the very feeling that defines a memorable Christmas morning. The piano tune changes as the crowd stands upon the arrival of her. Heads turn, smiles are ignited…. there she is, face covered in veil, as the whip cream surrounds the tasteful strawberry. Her father guides her down a timeline of memories that flashes before my very eyes, the heartbreaks and tears I could never turn over are finally laid to rest. My future, my ending, my beginning is on it’s way to the palm of my hand on a day I’d never saw coming. She’s handed over in my possession, we’re facing the Reverend…. “Dearly beloved”….. – To be continued

–  C.A. Thomas

Cameron (U.N.C.L.E.)

Dedicated to my nephew….

When I first laid eyes on you the title “Uncle” quickly registered. This tiny being in my arms, skin as bright as the sun with a pair of eyes staring deeply within my soul smiles at me. If any indication of love was left in me I wholeheartedly credit my nephew for it. It’s amazing how a child can have such a major effect on you, enabling you to relive countless moments as a child and never feeling ashamed of it. It is children who teach us all the meaning of love, no matter the condition of our heart. I thank my nephew for this lesson.

Love ya Curt Curt

Undeniably Needing Cameron’s Love Everyday (U.N.C.L.E.)


– C.A. Thomas

Yesterday’s Forgiveness 

As I’ve gotten older I realize that it’s easy blaming the aftermath of things on yesterday. So I’m writing this letter as an apology to yesterday. If it weren’t the mistakes and errors of yesterday today wouldn’t exist, my problems wouldn’t be open to discuss nor the inheritance of experience and wisdom. I used to blame yesterday for many things instead of thanking yesterday for today. Yesterday was the teacher that insinuated the importance of growth from the ability to fail, that it’s alright for mistakes to take place. Yesterday gives birth to today because today feels much better than yesterday. So yesterday, I’m asking for your forgiveness…… do you accept my apology?

– C.A. Thomas

To Breathe again.

I’ve suffocated long enough. I’ve had days where I no longer felt like me, face covered in hair as the appearance of my identity began fading. I literally gave up on the offers life had to pleasure. No matter how bright the sun shined my attitude grew darker as the days slipped away. Mirrors I ignored, hiding myself away from the reflection of known truth I could bare to glance, it was obvious I lost sight of who I was. The position of caring I no longer wanted, in fact, I was making preparations on turning in my resignation. At that moment I felt as if not enough words could recessitate my attitude, my life literally flatlining itself away through rain drops. If breathing again were only simple as walking…. I’ve been without air long enough. I’m determined to breathe again.

– C.A. Thomas

Invisible

You can mean the entire universe to someone, experiencing that “top of the world” kinda feeling. The idea of importance you are to someone delivers the gratitude and drive needed to complete any objective no matter the difficulty. At this point, “Invisible” is too far away to identify although it’s approaching. From long conversations to minimal texting the attention span grows shorter by the second, not even giving a thought that invisible has already moved in. Silence draws in as the conversation comes to a halt, confusion now giving birth to guilt when all you’ve done was promote fairness. Invisible sets in and now you’re a ghost, the past (person) walks by you as if your existence never mattered with the conclusion of a cellphone no longer producing the very sound that ignited your smile.

You’re not a ghost, you’re not invisible, you do matter.

– C.A. Thomas

Death (My Letter to you)

I used to be afraid of you. I’d stay up late at night in fear of closing my eyes, praying I’d never wake up in a casket. I hated attending funerals because I’d knew you’d be there, maybe waiting for me. I used to think of you all the time, almost an obsession I had out of curiosity. I even questioned the possibility of the afterlife, seeing my loved ones walking around the very cemetery they were laid to rest. I remember the first encounter I had with you, I was at the tender age of 9 gasping for air as the bright lights surrounding me revealed a room, outlining the structure of what appeared to be an emergency room. The obsession of you became an addiction, news paper clippings (obituaries) I’d place inside of an old scrapbook. Turning those pages only brought forth more depression than I could fathom, realizing in that I moment I was only existing. From that moment on I decided to live, I have a purpose on this earth and I’m determined to live it to the very end. Death, although you’re never too far away, I can no longer give you any more of my time but…… on the day you decide to pay me a visit I’ll be waiting.

– C.A. Thomas

A son’s promise.

In the 33 years of my life I’m reminded of you each time my reflection is cast through a mirror. Your blood runs through the course of my veins, your heart beats through me as your struggles become my appreciation. Not many young men have the pleasure to acknowledge their father, let alone even know a tiny detail to complete an identity that’s vital in every man’s life. I appreciate you father, I appreciate the man you’ve managed to become, the love you display, the instillness you’ve implanted in my subconscious on the importance of being not only a responsible man…… but a great man at that. I promise I will not let you down, no matter the difficulty measure Life becomes. Thank you for becoming the shadow I’d never hesitate in following.

Always,

Your son Christopher

See yourself through me.

See yourself the way I do. Such a sight for eyes that I pinch myself in hopes of never awakening from this dream. I see a beautiful woman who’s smile impresses angels, her intellect touching the world as her laughter embeds my eardrum. See yourself through me the kinda beautiful I see, see the kinda woman that appreciates me for being me. See yourself through me at being the best you could ever be, you’ll always be the best no matter how far you succeed. See yourself through me…… because I see me through you.

 

– C.A. Thomas

The responsibility of Love.

Although each of us demonstrate responsibility on a daily basis the challenge itself begins with us. Love indeed begins as the inside job that even a mirror cannot project, yet we yearn the desire of experiencing the necessities and benefits of love…… while easily forgetting that Love is the responsibility that has its own “terms and conditions.” If we as beings disect the word “Love” we’ll discover the many emotions that have altered our way of thinking, understanding how responsibility from love could either prepare us for a life of marital bliss or an unintentional shortcoming. Love accepts what it has no desire to change, Love appreciates what others miss, Love is….. responsible.

– C.A. Thomas

Tic Tac Toe (X’s & O’s)

I can remember being a child, tic tac toe was the game I played. Such a competitive game that required logical thinking. Today’s era has transformed the very game that defined the odds of trickery to the new profound form of “hugs (x) & kisses (o). The idea of manipulation could’ve possibly originated from a simple game that a child could master within minutes…. on the other hand, as an adult it has become far too difficult to outmaster the mindset of a child that’s trapped inside the being of an adult. Nine blocks, five moves, 4 choices….. is it really worth it?

– C.A. Thomas

My Introduction

First I wanna give thanks to each and every one of you for allowing me to borrow your eyes for a moment. My name is C.A. and writing has been an invigorating passion of mine for quite a few years. It was the suggestion of my father who challenged me to write my thoughts, identifying problems by allowing my words to form the very sentences that has structured my way of thinking. It would be an honor and pleasure to invite you on this journey of writing with me……🖋

– C.A. Thomas