Love Mirror

We walk past a mirror frequently for either timely routines or self reflection. We rarely identify the love that lies beneath the very skin we claim to own. It takes projecting of other’s opinions to alter our very own perception of how we should love ourselves. A mirror is more than a projector, more than a view of what’s in front of us. It’s simply the reminder of how love is designed through every spectacle that we describe the moment another’s love enters our radar. What is the love mirror? Gazing through another’s soul with those identical thoughts neither person would hesitate in saying. Let’s become each other’s “Love Mirror”

– C.A. Thomas

Wedding Day Thoughts

I’m standing across from the prettiest bride in the room.

Holding hands with the most beautiful woman oh so soon.

Heart filled with enough excitement forever glooms.

She was indeed the one I decided to choose.

A vowed promise sealed with a kiss.

The bouquet she throws, her garter I remove you don’t wanna miss.

A lifetime of love, whipped cream in bliss.

We dance, we shake, we turn in every place.

Cutting our squares on the perfect wedding cake.

I’m the Mr. and she’s my Mrs.

I’d marry you all over again for a thousand kisses.

– C.A. Thomas

Perfect Sense (In a not so perfect world)

If love is the achievable for us all and if this choice we call “love” is our desire to fulfill then why do we suffer in making the attempt of loving another? We use our best efforts in reaching those of potential in hopes of not only delivering the best of our abilities, but the failure of reciprocation possibly hindering us in being afraid in establishing second or third chances. If you’re reading this of course it’ll make perfect sense to you but the realization is quite common…… in a not so perfect world caution possibly keeps us at ease in fear of objectifying the inevitable that keeps us correct in another’s intentions, instead of giving ourselves time to remain patient for the potential that our heartbreak and tears deserve.

We deserve no less than the best.

– C.A. Thomas

Share yourself with me.

Share yourself with me. Allow your life to become apart of me. Exchanging our hesitations, replacing with similar vibrations we identify by the flow of our language. Share your yourself with me, the frustrations and tears you’ve hidden in fear of me thinking of you differently. What if I shared my love with you, revealing my heartaches and frustrations to you? Would you stay and feel obliged in healing a writer’s craft? Or would you abandon our page with only blue lines to ignore? Share yourself with me, so I can explore the true vessel of you in the form of something real, something sincere with such meaningful purpose.

Share yourself with only me….. cause I’m stingy like that.

– C.A. Thomas

Dancing In The Rain.

Let’s try something different. Take my hand as I guide us toward the rain. As the drops seep beneath our pores, inhaling life’s cycle as the water begins moving in motion with our bodies colliding. The sky is flickering, adrenaline rushing, afraid of lightning possibly ruining our chance of writing our signatures amongst the gentleness of grass beneath our toes. Hold me as I kiss you, tender you with all my love of warmth eager to be released. Follow me, grab me into the darkness of the unknown. Savor me till our taste forms the unforgettable taste of rain.

Dance with me.

– C.A. Thomas

Catch Me

Falling hard is how I’m feeling lately. My knees have weakened, even in practicing different stances to keep my balance. I can easily recollect on the good I’ve done but I’m falling, still losing a balance I once believed set in stone. If I were caught I’d embrace the capturer, soaking in tears I never knew were there, staring in a pair of eyes I never knew were watching, hearing a soft voice my ears have yet to earn. Catch me so I’ll become yours, teach me in understanding the ways of you, adoring you, loving you, appreciating every part of you that’ll intensify my inquisitive.

Catch me, hold onto me.

– C.A. Thomas

Henry (Fidell)

Dedicated to Andrea & Christian.

Never met a true hustler till I met you. We have our stories, our versions till we meet the individual who’s character reveals the path we’re destined to cross. My version of you is recalled like yesterday’s recollection as a man known in creating opportunities beyond the inevitable, giving your best in seeing others succeed before your very self. Only God knows your heart more than we’ve anticipated, only God knew your smile better than we’ve speculated and only God granted us to you in a period that convinced us all that no matter what….. even angels can make the doubtful believe that good has walked amongst us. Rest on Henry, God has you now.

– C.A. Thomas

Unmatched Intimacy

We come from two different worlds yet here are, unmatched not realizing the potential we could awaken from each other. Let’s begin with a smile I can simulate with practice, a hug I could generate through trust, a kiss I could feel in relief. Sharing our stories implicating our laughter, our sadness, our failures, our triumphs bringing our unmatched doubts closer than before. I wanna experience this form of intimacy, this exhibit of loyalty our bodies can easily translate.

We’ve suffered long enough.

– C.A. Thomas

Therapy

May 1st, 2018 was indeed the scariest and most surprising day of my life. Early that morning I received news that I was expected on becoming a father. Nervous and afraid I shared the news with few who are closest to me. Upon learning the news came the devastating moment of also learning that my unborn child was in the high percentile of being miscarried. Depression paid me an unexpected visit that kept me isolated and quiet for many weeks and on the day of our ultrasound we were told that our baby had already passed. The would’ve been mother of my child has become the therapy I desperately sought out. The sight of her brings joy that entices my advantage of learning to smile once more. I crave her hugs, her tenderness I miss at times when I find myself all alone. Although we’re not together my heart has reserved a special place for her. Plans are subject in changing but I’m learning to accept God’s plans are much bigger and sufficient than my very own. To my unborn child who’s now with the heavily father himself…… I love you.

– C.A. Thomas

Great conversation ending in “V”.

Conversation that captures the attention of a smile is quite rare. Thinking of an angelic face that captivates every inch of energy that surfaces to the root of your soul, climbing its way to the very top of a beaming light I call “life”. A shareable laugh we both are entitled to share on a day serving as the importance of an established new beginning. Virtuous in a dream, vibrant in many details verifying such substance beyond tangible exuberance. I verify this with a rose of I give to you….. calling it “Vermique”.

– C.A. Thomas

Pinnacle Thinking

Time has revealed that no matter how much you encourage others to improve themselves “self” should always begin as the foundation of a successful structure. No harm or inspiring words are ever dispersed in crippling the handicapped but to instill discipline needed in facing the adversities life delivers. Until you determine the changes needed in your well being disappointment will always remain the familiar that could become difficult to rid of.

– C.A. Thomas

BookMark

First off I would like to thank all of you for assisting me on this journey of writing. Your comments and likes have eagerly encouraged me to continue writing better than before. The time has arrived for me to put my writings on hold, for I am now embarking on a journey that requires more of my time than anticipated. Once again I truly thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

Always,

– C.A. Thomas

Perseverance

For Stephanie.

The achievement in perseverance is already knowing the battle is won. The harder life becomes the easier it is releasing a struggle that we ourselves are constantly battling daily. In fear of judgement we could become guarded of our “Achilles Heel” when our strength is what testifies our healing. It is important that we credit ourselves for surviving, making it further by waking up then previously held through captivity in pain. The brightness that lies ahead of us is worth the reach……. as the strength encourage us to never loosen the grip.

– C.A. Thomas

Deserve

In our hearts we feel we deserve the person who attracts us, the career our childhood illuminates our dreams to pursue. With enough disappointments life depicts a totally different outlook on what we feel we deserve. We deserve the right to be happy although in the beginning we’re so eager placing our happiness in the hands of another who may be unable to carry the weight of responsibility behind it. Later understanding that happiness is self deserved never rewarded. We deserve the right to feel free, yet free somehow never feels adequate when we as a people are scolded for voicing our opinions and concerns on the issues constantly keeping us all segregated as a whole. Most importantly we deserve to feel important because we are through the eyes of the ones who’ve always believed in us.

Deserve belongs to us because we’re well deserved.

– C.A. Thomas

Relapse

So easy placing forth coming results of a pattern in the hands of someone you admire. To rid yourself of habits for the approval of praise. Dedicating every attempt in hopes of a promising change, only reminded of what caused the addiction. Desperation eagerly latching onto false hope in the form of a dream already sold. The admiration behind this is never giving in to the possibility of failure. Believing in self in reasoning to adhere and commit to one’s determination. Realizing that depending on self it is you and only you who compels to life’s struggle through triumph. We’re much stronger than we credit ourselves, more courageous than we’ve ever been….. realizing that a relapse doesn’t define who we are, but the will in trying solidifies that we never gave up.

– C.A. Thomas

And The Award Goes To…

I’ve always felt women are never recognized enough…… I dedicate this award to you.

Love for a reason, making love for every reason. Your kisses solidifies the very trust capable of uncovering hidden explanations within us men. Supporting with intent, adoring with such sentiment how could this woman go unnoticed? She hurts more than us, she endures pain stronger than trust still she forgives with open arms. Her legs closed, her heart unfolds the revelation of pregnancy. Months surpass, her uterus enlarging in preparation of demonstrating life itself. Water breaks, she pushes, she gasps with overwhelming virtue placed in the cup of her arms. Tiny eyes blinking, staring through the window of a woman who’s been through Heaven’s measures, emotions challenged thus smiling like it all occurred in a previous dream. No acting involved, no rehearsal needed, no directors capturing the moments of her on film. She’s her own category, her own contender, her own voice.

It is with great honor and privilege to announce the winner for displaying such consistency, such compassion filled with grace in every step she’s taken.

Ladies and Gentlemen…. *opens envelope*

“And the award goes to…..”

– C.A. Thomas

“MW”

For Monique,

Nothing is more beautiful than a beginning unfolding before our very eyes. Somehow your beginning has reluctantly brought you to a place where many eyes can view a captured essence beyond imagination. Your journey orchestrated many tests only illustrating perseverance among strength and the unmeasurable faith you’ve always harbored. A smile igniting a small room bright enough to view such an amazing accomplishment you’ve achieved. You’re the inspiration encouraging others to exemplify their dreams, excelling beyond the unlimited opportunities they’ve yet to grasp. Dreams are possible to achieve….. you’re the epitome of our reality.

Thank you for that.

– C.A. Thomas

Teach Me The Ways Of You.

To understand you requires time I must set aside. Placing you at the focus of my  hunger I’m eager to devour, the relentless nights I’m overthinking of conditioning your love with saturated tenderness lingering beneath my toughness. Teach me the ways of you, the truth in loving you, strengthening my purpose and needing you more than self. Teach me the ways of your laughter, producing tears of happiness I’ve held for so long in fear of releasing. Teach me the ways of loving you, earning every incentive of kissing you honestly, memorizing the details making up the incredible I see within you.

Teach me…… I want that A+

– C.A. Thomas

Never Believed In Goodbye

Goodbyes are what I say if I’m no longer in the presence of who stands before me. A goodbye I establish with a shoulder overthrown as steps trail away from a reason no longer worth losing sleep over. I say goodbye for reasons even I may not interpret or understand at the time of an already made decision. As time and maturity have consumed me goodbyes have now become the normal, having faith in realizing the importance of life continuing to move as I should always practice. Once upon a time I never believed in goodbye…….. that upon a time was once ago I did not fully understand.

I understand now.

– C.A. Thomas

Entertain (No Longer Fun)

Entertaining starts out fun in the beginning. Ideas rise, excitement brings forth opportunities leading possibly to amazing scenarios and situations. Long conversations, unlimited texts, discovering new thoughts of hesitant action slowly unfolding in the midst of entertaining another. Soon the entertaining becomes a likable trait, hopeful in asking the once playful thought which occurs numerously out on a date to see if that spark of interest will continue….. it doesn’t. The ambition to entertain now lacks the courage to no longer pursue the drive once controlling the feeling of emotion. Entertaining used to be fun…… just not for me anymore.

– C.A. Thomas

What Is It?

What is it about us that separates our genius, our brilliance from the rest of the world? What is it that causes us to write such things that exemplifies a portion of our feelings, a near perfect description gliding the corners of a blank sheet? Is it love that enables us to reach higher platforms of trying, excelling beyond the dream filled with certainty? Is it inspiration that focuses our heart to inspire others in becoming the best version of themselves to witness? Or maybe we’re all of these questions filled with all the love we never knew were already there.

Remember to ask yourself this question when you feel alone in this world….. “What is it?”………. You’re it.

– C.A. Thomas

Marriage

Forever, is it truly long as the anticipation grows of waking up next to you? The exchanging of vows and rings for a gentle reminder of what we’re promising each other? Are we truly promising to uplift one another for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer as long as we both shall “live”? Or are these very words sounding so gentle, so nurturing expressed in awing an audience to commemorate this very day through many aspects of memoirs to surface? A commitment, a responsibility, a promise or an oath possibly we could interpret. Spending our lives together, learning one another, understanding each other is all I ever could fathom…… no matter how marriage is defined, we define us.

– C.A. Thomas

Outer Shell (Opinions Of Others)

If I could step out of my own skin I would carefully observe the very details of myself. Beginning with the way I walk, such a pigeon I stumble over the simplest uneven areas that even an architect overlooks. My grammar follows, pronouncing the finest words to ever grace the pages of a dictionary in fine print. To speak with such intelligence, with character and diligence leaving it impossible for anyone forgetting my presence. Physical attributes are shifting, eye sight becoming more blurred as the weight of my 5’10 balance  adjusting in the 200s. Instructing myself on eating healthier, exercising regularly may not necessarily promote a longer youth although challenging myself in hopes of beating an odd’s end could rectify such an endless opinion. The opinions of others could easily dictate our very own eyesight. Producing a more clearer perception of the person we could deny without observing the magnifying glass. We’re the outer shell constantly worrying about the opinions of others…. when the opinions may never lead to a justifiable perspective.

– C.A. Thomas

Self Doubt

You’re worth a hello, a good morning text, a hug squeezable for the difference you make in another’s world. You’re worth a “thinking of you”, an “I miss you” response because of the influence of enjoyment you have on people. Easily defeating yourself with much doubt, robbing your desires of feeling beautiful in the eyes of the person who deserves every detail of you. How you make others feel is only a glimpse of how amazing you truly are….. you’re the one who’s too good for anyone yet you love with such humility and deserve the very best someone should be eager to deliver. Self doubt is a mirror, only you can modify the errors needed to present the reflection of how people view you.

– C.A. Thomas

Surrounded Lessons

Lessons walk upon us daily. We lose more than winning, we cry more than smiling while projecting unknown anger amongst the ones who rely on us for guidance. Although at times we feel we’ve solved the answers life somehow reminds us that we’re only a lesson in hopes of teaching another.  Our struggles and troubles could easily become the music to another’s listening, hoping the tunes will elaborate a much suitable lesson.  Even as we mature the lessons are repeated this time generating from a much younger audience. “Surrounded Lessons”, exactly what we’re destined to be….. although mistakes are made we ourselves are never the mistake, only the lessons we surround the very people who need it more than ourselves.

– C.A. Thomas

2018

Each year teaches me something, brings me something, have brought me tears in the midst of anger and confusion in the balance. Change has arrived earlier than expect, the change has triggered my way of thinking on how people and situations should be approached more so minus the anger. Calmness I have chosen to inherit, establishing such a tranquil of peace that harbors my mind as it casts beautifully across the ocean. 2018 is a year of resetting the mishaps, the failures, the misunderstandings in hopes of achieving the results anticipated. 2018 may be a number, for it is the experience that should progress change within us all.

– C.A. Thomas

Contagious Smile

Nothing more contagious than a woman’s smile. The honesty, her thoughtfulness, the effort she puts in delivering an incredible view of total enriching substance. Her smile weakens my words, increasing each heartbeat I feel with a few skips of excitement between flutters of uncontrolled anticipation. A smile I wanna kiss, a smile I desire in touching with each glance paused within each blink of a rehearsed scene over and over. I love your smile for it is a part of you….. I wanna know every tiny detail of you simply because….. I love you.

– C.A. Thomas

Chapter 17

At times I catch myself struggling in closing a chapter. So hesitant leaving the bookmark of hope partially tucked away as if I’m waiting for a much promising outcome or conclusion. For 17 years this very answer stared me in the eyes, the answer was even more blatant once I realized no matter how many times you watch a film, the ending remains the same although the point of view changes. The hardest chapter of my life is now officially closed….. what happens now?

Stay tuned

– C.A. Thomas

The Best Way We Know How.

Inspired by a dear friend

People project themselves the best way they know how. Loving the best way they know how, distancing themselves from us the best way they know how yet we never observe the uncertainty of their actions. It’s easy harboring unnecessary anger and confusion when the answer to our very questions lie before our eyes. We deal with life the best way we know how, display our emotions the best way we know how till our heart no longer beats the way it should. We take breaths the best way we know how, live the only way we know how till time slows us all down the way it’s intended to be. We smile the best way, frown the worst way with laughing as a means to escape momentarily. If we’re ever held accountable for anything….. it’s simply experiencing life the best way we know how.

– C.A. Thomas

From Here On Out.

From here on out things will change. Is it the kinda change in hopes of promoting such positivity that lures others within my grasp? Alluring words filled with captivity within my presence intrigued by a healing smile that’s eager to set free. I only desire in becoming the best I can truly become, which I find difficult at times but yet have I not given up on this quest. From here on out I can only expect such results within myself that I hold accountable, never blaming anyone’s words nor actions but indeed thanking them in the teachings of growth, maturity and humility. From here on out things will be different, my life shall be different….. and only I can bring out this complete change…. from here on out.

– C.A. Thomas

I’m ready

I’m ready for many things, many situations to occur when least expected. I’m ready for life as it breathes deeply within me. I’m ready for love, already sewn beneath my flesh. I’m ready to express the very feelings responsible for the man I’ve grown to outfit, suiting every detail of character I’ve established in the distinction of time. Responsibility inherited the words “I’m ready” every opportunity my feet touches the floor beside my bed, motivation working its way through the course of my body. I’m ready to live, as existence overran my mind for some time. I’ve always been ready, not because of this…… are you ready?

– C.A. Thomas

Bearded Journey

I once hid my emotions behind a beard, covering every inch of my expression where no one could guess my feelings. Inches became length of wild, untamable hair fighting its way into my life. My lips soon devoured in the very hair I grew because of no longer caring in my appearance. The scene of sulking and depression left me helpless in the midst of refusal in crying for help. In that moment I felt as if Wyatt Earp and I shared identical dreading of losing ourselves. Darkness covered my thoughts, my mind suffering seizure type relapses with everyone’s voice around me slowly tuning out. My beard signifies strength, accepting hurt and pain as a reminder to become even stronger in my journey. No blade shall ever touch this face, not now nor ever. My beard defines me……. I am strength.

– C.A. Thomas

Personal Description

Thirty four years on this earth and I’m changing. More cautious if not hesitant in who I open up to. My heart and feelings are all I have to relinquish and as freely as I’m prepared to do so I realize the importance of honesty in the handling of something valuable and priceless to me. Let’s get personal for a moment. Hurt is familiar as the air we breathe, toxic as the energy fed on us from unhappiness laced with hatred. Exposed to wrong doings, misunderstandings as it translates to wanting the inevitable damn near impossible brink of the “ever after” we all deserve. Accepting the realization of truth…. living the lesson of experience versus interpreting theories based on other’s choices, which we should not pursue.

This is my personal description… define yours.

– C.A. Thomas

36 Septembers

For Ty,

Growth and wisdom covers you, eternally as the blanket of beauty surrounds you. September 18th is no ordinary day but indeed a significant one, revealing a treasure that shines far beyond the sight of eyes. Thirty six years, this very blessing in the form of a smile attached to such a caring yet amazing instrument of a woman. As I light this candle, celebrating God’s carefully written music entitled “September 18, 1981″…… I’m forever grateful in knowing such beautifully, talented and captivation of a masterpiece.

*Blows out candle*

Happy Birthday Ty

Always,

– C.A. Thomas

Text

Keeping my phone close by, like a natural high of you soothing my intentions with a long sound of honest reverberation. Flipping over my phone, testing the sound of a notification hoping it’ll be you. Phone lights up, sound echoes, mattress vibrating every feeling of you coming through. I slide, unlock, glimpsing the message I’d hope in receiving from you but it isn’t. Expectation lowers, heartbeat slows, adrenaline leaves my body in despairing hope as the tide washes away every detail of excitement I once harbored. Fantasy fades, reality blends with life as the final mixture of plain eviscerating taste buds making it difficult in describing what’s real. No point in replying to a message that needs no resuscitation. Let the words of a gentle let down encourage strength to awaken within me…… reminding me I’m someone’s reason to smile through text sent from yours truly.

Sending……

– C.A. Thomas

Disappointment (Perception’s Reality)

Has disappointment become apart of the normal? Do we as beings rely on this train of thought in hopes of defending our very own feelings, depriving our happiness? It’s crazy how our expectations of others could be so low, less hopeful, quick in pointing out flaws that narrates the characters we’re known to portray. Giving up on one another becomes easier to accomplish than realizing the power of influence we could have on one another. It doesn’t take a genius to identify this nightmare of disappointment but relying on it only creates harder in convincing. Only we can disappoint ourselves, not the individuals we easily rely on for assistance.

– C.A. Thomas

Passionate (My Everything)

Let my actions be as passionate as my words for her. My sheltered love she'll one day unfold, discovering how much I've anticipated in giving her. My burning passion igniting the realm of my heart, triggering the ability of expressional spontaneity she never saw coming. She appears in my thoughts as sleep calms me, wondering the very thing that makes getting to know her so thrilling yet peaceful. She's earned the privilege in occupying my time, her smile consumes my mind and her lips I desire in touching mine. She'll become my passion, my work of art, my presentation…… my everything.

– C.A. Thomas

Lonely

It’s amazing how we all can empathize the same feelings yet project them differently. Displaying a cry for affection and love with millions of people as if we’re all drawing the same lottery pick. Lonely does create darker moments, more reflection of self for a special someone we’re hoping who’ll awaken us from a weary dream. Although lonely strengthens you at times it does weaken possibilities with desperation, leaving yourself vulnerable to the slightest indication of dishonest attention. If lonely taught me anything the lesson was this…… this too shall pass.

– C.A. Thomas

Passport

Wanna find my way to you. Live our lives as if tomorrow was never due, holding you in my arms as if love felt so true. Across the world we'll travel, landing on the destination our lips would forever speak of. Filling our memoirs with polished memories we'd recount on a tasteless night filled with our energy. Am
I wrong for thinking such things? For wanting to embrace the very being that makes up the genetic makeup of a woman I'm yearning to kiss, craving to passion with every inch connected to my name. I want you to the point of needing every part of you in my life….. just you.

– C.A. Thomas

Different Language

Let your lips become the reason I learn a new language. Place those lips in front me, enhancing a perfect view of enrichment. Place your lips against mine, moisture dripping of you speaks to me. Pronounce those words, follow my tongue as I repeat every word, every sentence as it seduces my appetite. Turn around, bend over so those lips can slowly spread for me, giving me every reason to master this new language. The warmth of this education has enthralled my learning ability. I'm gonna ace this exam, kissing your lips till dryness no longer becomes relevant.

*licks lips*

– C.A. Thomas

The Other Piece (My Heart)

Somewhere there's a piece of my heart beating for me. A vessel lying in the temple of a goddess made for the loving of a king. I envision her tastefulness to the full capacity of detail, sweetness of gentle pleasure she'd release in the responsibility of my care. The thought of this queen serenading my conscious leaves me beyond speechless, mesmerized past comprehensive enacting. God I cannot wait to taste this, inhaling the scent of a craving I'd wish to feel, the gentleness of an astonishing experience bound in the very hope I've nourished for so long. There's a piece of me out there……. the other piece.

– C.A. Thomas

Wasted Years

Years fly, like seconds lost in the blink of an eye. Where has time traveled? I used to criticize my life for the time I've wasted over the years then it occurred to me… time was never wasted. At this moment, how I'm feeling right now I haven't wasted anything. Hurt, agony, tear shedding and anger were the very clouds surrounding me over the years. I've always carried this darkness of an attitude I tried so hard in disclosing but the good inside of me promoted more laughter for the enjoyment of anyone willing to listen. No such thing as wasted years if you're learning something. As a bonus, I now have you guys (audience). Believe it or not, you're teaching me a lot about myself and I'm very grateful and privileged for this.

– C.A. Thomas

Starting Over

Removing pictures off a wall scattered in hammered nails. Fresh paint covering memories, removing triggering flashbacks as I now detail a new insight of home. The sleepless nights have gotten better, the echoes of a familiar voice are now gone, all I hear is peace in the distance. Starting over is a new kind of different, a new kind of idea I once was hesitant in fulfilling. My heart wishes to create new memories, the hopeful memories including a wife and children with a tiny little dog that keeps us all going. With a new toolbox already purchased, tools to begin my new found journey I'm almost ready to begin.

Thank you all for accompanying me on this journey called "Life".

– C.A. Thomas

Personality (For The Ladies)

Ladies,

Your personality speaks volumes. It rings in our ears the melody of sweet tunes our thoughts process vividly after the introduction. Looks are only a preview of the presentation presented in the format of a personality humbly receiving the standing ovation. Never let anyone bring you out of your element of charisma, it's the chance you're willing to give us that enhances our maturity beyond meaning. It is you who allow us to become the better version of ourselves, projecting the best we'll ever become because of your love, your grace and devotion to our well being. "I love you" will never be enough in showing the gratitude you deserve…. because there's no us without you.

Take Off

Preparing to board my first flight. Staring below the clouds, headphones on low with blue surrounding my entire being. I wish I could've experienced this many years before but opportunity couldn't have picked a better moment in teaching me what the world has to reveal. Flight takes off in t-minus 57 minutes and counting. This is the first of many adventures to follow….. stay tuned.

– C.A. Thomas

Strength

As a child I remember wanting to become the strongest kid in the world. I'd stand behind parked vehicles, lifting as if Superman were training me to develop the strength of a hero. Reality explained that strength comes from within, believing in you as doubt surrounds your subconscious. Mental strength is what makes a person, defying the odds by overcoming obstacles changing rapidly. Strength is what you taste, breathe, at times you even dream of strength adopting your mind as it guides you through many trials of tests. These words you're viewing are heavy……. all you need is the ability to focus, realizing the strength already lying within you.

– C.A. Thomas

Not Enough Words

Not enough words to explain how I feel, music turned up, windows rolled down as the air brushes my face. Bypassing hurt, exiting anger with the construction of self slowly working against unfinished time. Finding the words in description of my heart cannot be searched, GPS displaying out of range leaving the reliable compass of direction spinning. I wish my words could assist me on the journey of finding my way but sometimes….. there aren't enough words to clarify the emotions running through my mind, not enough words to pinpoint my own happiness or even the beginning of what I'm destined to finish.

– C.A. Thomas

Finding A Good Woman.

A good woman keeps her heart hidden. Easy to love yet cautious in sharing a piece of her with someone who’s intentions display mixed results. She’s ready to love an honest man willing to prove her theories incorrect from what she’s witnessed. Finding the good begins with a chance, taking a risk in hopes of happiness standing on the other side of curiosity. A good woman could produce the very magic a man could never anticipate, enriching the joy beyond his fear. It is the good in a woman that adds value to the missing piece of a man’s heart, thus enabling him to become better than he’s ever imagined.

– C.A. Thomas

Egg Shells

The things you say or do never meets the approval of someone's taste. Wondering if it was something you've said or done to end something you once believed hopeful and promising. Truth is, egg shells are not to be walked upon for the likes of anyone. A genuine individual will like and accept all that define you without any effort of change. Some people will find fault within you that may not even disturb your awareness, playing victim within a scenario that will totally leave you confused and full of questioning. The point is…….. the egg already fragile will crack eventually, don't be the one cautious enough to walk the shells.

– C.A. Thomas

Show Me Your Kinda Love.

I’m interested yet intrigued in discovering your kinda love. Teach me the ways of understanding you, appreciating the sound of your experience as it caresses my dreams of holding you. Tickle my thoughts with your signature of a kiss, serenade my soul with taste of eternal nectar gently embedded with your resemblance. Tease my heart with promising echoes of a voice awakening my comatose state, opening my eyes to truthful beauty in the eyes of a woman capable of loving this writer. Reveal to me all that I’m missing, demonstrate your secrets of genius, making this kinda love with you more than a worth while privilege. Can I embrace this experience with you, only you?

– C.A. Thomas

September 21st

On the night of September 20th she went into labor. Eighteen hours of pain subjected her opinions of motherhood at an earlier time. Deep breaths with a calculated precision timed a final push which brought forth a nine pound, five ounce and a half little boy who’s head covered in hair recorded approximately the morning of 1:28am. William, the name originally intended for this child till a voice spoke through stilled quietness….. “call him Christopher”, the grandmother of this child softly echoing. “Christopher Antonio Thomas” officially graced the page of a finalized birth certificate, imprinting new existence by the palm of his hands, the footprints of his feet. Is Christopher ready for the world…….. or is the world prepared for Christopher?

To be continued.

– C.A. Thomas

Reinvention Of Self

It's crazy yet silly the things we do to impress people who were never worth the initiative. Struggling to remain hopeful in the eyes of who haven't a clue on who they are or what their willing to stand for. Rejection causes reinvention of self, manipulating costumes in hopes of capturing an audience with a low attention span. The best and arguably the greatest reinvention of self is to be "yourself". People fall in love with "different" because it overrides normal, it challenges boring, delivering new insight on how we live and view life. You're the reason "different" makes the difference in someone's life……. never lose sight of this.

– C.A. Thomas

Simple Yet Confusing 

We clarify ourselves simple yet the world view us confusing. We may not share the same qualities, although our brand of taste in feelings are easily tampered by someone who’s dishonesty contaminates our innocence. Confusing now replacing the beauty of simple makes chances more questionable, disregarding simple easily as faith. Simple doesn’t have to be confusing, confusing shouldn’t require critical thinking although times have clearly established this. As simple as we are people will never understand us how we’d expect them to but….. simple does become routine by the very ones who are willing to learn us, and that’s simply loving us for who we are. 

– C.A. Thomas 

Katreese

For her,

Hesitation never exists when it comes to you. Although at times I’ve wondered how you truly are when the curtains close, the lights dim and the cheering of friends and family echoes to a silence of meditation. For years I’ve been in awe of you, the tiny voice I’ve mimicked, the high pitched laugh I remember so well with the removal of a mole many have forgotten. Frequent trips to feel your honesty’s embrace, the way your presence brought forth many strangers who admired a smile from afar. Why am I writing this? As a reminder of how special you are, how easy for others to adore the idea of loving the amazing woman you’ve become. The kinda love easily depicted through reminisce. Special remaining the understatement when it comes to you…. you’re the beautiful genius filled with such life and magic that’ll never be overlooked nor forgotten, ever.

Always,

C.A. Thomas

Intensity’s Taste 

Take off your clothes, bear your marks of hidden secrets, let my lips trail decades of uncovered beauty. Allow your promises to linger around my tongue, feeling the presence of you as my breath reaches the corners of a body bearing your soul. I have yet to taste your love, embracing warmth covered in sweetness wealth dripping all over my exposed tongue. Bury my face in your honesty, squeeze my life with romantic pressure, release all you have to deliver…… as I swallow the foundation of a woman who’s captured my heart in the shift of an unforgettable taste. 

– C.A. Thomas 

Soulmate

My description of a soulmate…. when I know something is wrong, a slight premonition guiding my fingertips to a cellphone that calls you. Noticing a distinct tone in your voice, easily detected through my compassion driven by you. Using words of comfort in delivering you through trials you’ve managed to overcome. Loving you beyond sexual comprehension, the thought of you ignites the goodness I’ve hidden for so long, with a photo of you displayed on that very cellphone I’m priveleged to view. Do you think of me as much as I ponder on you? Somehow I believe so, describing what I feel without indicating if it’s real. As you’re sleeping yesterday’s experience I’ll remain where I’ve always resided…. viewing a cellphone hoping I’d see that smile I couldn’t imagine living without……. a soulmate I’m honored to voice. 

– C.A. Thomas  

Writing My Way To You

These words will find you before I do. Before I begin allow these words to resonate within your soul…. here goes… my feelings are as transparent as the air you breathe. Clearly seen but refusing to believe my existence is but a dream. The frequent trips to a destination more exciting than a kept promise, the sight of you with Christmas in the rear view, leaving my adrenaline occupied with butterflies. Let these words find you, explaining the very truth my tongue finds hesitance in revealing. There’s no amount of rehearsals nor mirrors to replicate my nervousness but understand this…… if you ever wondered if any of this is true, know that tomorrow is never the same or will it ever be without you. 

– C.A. Thomas 

Incomplete Smile 

Your smile is incomplete, a smile I desire to complete. An intoxicating smile I knew never left, always there kept hidden underneath. Will my sense of comedy arise a beautiful laughter, my compassion hence forth a glimpse of forever with you? No smile is worth fogetting like yours, embedded in my actions easily demonstrated in reviving without a thought of dissipating. An honest smile will be the smile I’ve earned, establishing enough overtime in loving you harder than ever before. I’m incomplete without you… because your smile allows all dreams to come true. 

– C.A. Thomas 

Honesty (The Closest)

Honesty, the closest to love that grants us the idea of changing another’s perception of us. The anticipation of admiring another’s triumph only tumbling in comparison towards our very own struggle.  We live to prevent yesterday’s errors, more vulnerable to the unknown of what our lips easily speak, our conscious manipulating the very actions our physical bears through reminder. Truth be told honesty places fear upon us all, losing self definition placed on a platform entitled “expectations”. Honesty hurts as much as love but understanding the difference examines the closest of what life is truly about…… honesty.

– C.A. Thomas 

Penetration 

Penetration doesn’t entirely require the physical aspect. Trigger another’s way of thinking, wordplay honesty in justification, marinate thoughts in pure substance. Become the reason a smile is curved, exposing a shining others are incapable of achieving. Stimulate hidden agendas, pacify the possession of safety and protection in hopes of lowering a wall built in disappointment. Penetrate the hardened cement, surrounding the individual who awaits the receiving of nurturing beyond nightmarish doubts. Love the mind as if it were your very own because…… it is yours.

– C.A. Thomas 

Pattern Of A Sweater

Individually we start out as a dull color, slowly fading of washed predictions. All it takes for a pattern to occur is a new color that beautifully blends with our original setting. Two colors forming a pattern, crossing lines with initial purpose of manipulating a comfort zone in hopes of achieving miraculous designing leading to happiness forthcomings. Anyone can wear a sweater, not everyone fits the design of different unless their willing to try for that someone worth adjusting. We all look good in sweaters but together stunning would penetrate our view of each other….. let’s fit together as great we look. 

That’s my pattern of a sweater.

– C.A. Thomas  

GOD’s Paintbrush 

Beautiful rectifies you, covering the wings of an angel destined to fly. The stroke of God’s Paintbrush illuminates the truer essence of stunning captivation, capturing a breathtaking moment surrounding the magic of an unforgettable memoir. Paint as blessings showering the emptiness of an unfinished canvas, giving eyes the new meaning of vision, sweet texture pacifying fingertips with smoothness covered in layers. God’s Paintbrush polishes beautiful beyond sight, not only feeling its presence…. but witnessing a victorious triumph.
– C.A. Thomas 

The Best Of Me

There’s a piece of me I’m saving for you. The best of me I’m leaving for you, the joyous moment of a dream coming true. Confusion overshadowing a time of grief, leaving me all alone feeling incomplete, finally realizing alone prepares me for the presence of you. Time demonstrates the privilege of my presence, understanding the honesty of my worth tripled by a woman who’s touch instills the maturity within my growth. When our path of destiny collide she’ll inherit the best of me, the rest of me as our love shall ever intend to be. She deserves that part of me.

Till the day I exhale my last breath. 

– C.A. Thomas 

Love In Translation

The closest to love I could easily translate would be you. My feeling for you demonstrates endless possibilities of spontaneity beyond action. Loving you as the privilege sworn I’d vow to live by, accepting your worst as the reality of understanding an angel’s limitations. Breathless moments of seeing you across the room, heartbeats skipping patterns in hopes of longing your touch in squeezable doses. I’m not your everyday hero, not even a knight in shiny armor, I’m only a man who loves you more than myself. Sometimes I believe my life would only begin the second we fall in love, journeying on a quest that only we’d embark. She may never read this…… She may never know….. I still love her till this day. 

– C.A. Thomas 

Save A Place In Heaven For Me.

The time is near, I can sense the upcoming celebration by the sound of your voice. Kisses implanted on the face of soft innocence, carrying small conversation with pieces of memories repeated over. Hold my hand, squeeze as I remind you a battle of pain is no longer your burden to carry. Such strength holding on as if the ending not yet written, weakness slowly overtaking a soul eager to release beyond clouds. I envision you preparing a meal the heavenly father himself would enjoy, praising such a remarkable gift producing three generations of sweet enrichment. When the time comes to reunite with the father, the son and the holy ghost I ask a small favor……. save a place in Heaven for me….. so I may kiss you once more. I’m truly gonna miss you.

I Love You Grandma

– C.A. Thomas

Yesterday’s Forgiveness 

As I’ve gotten older I realize that it’s easy blaming the aftermath of things on yesterday. So I’m writing this letter as an apology to yesterday. If it weren’t the mistakes and errors of yesterday today wouldn’t exist, my problems wouldn’t be open to discuss nor the inheritance of experience and wisdom. I used to blame yesterday for many things instead of thanking yesterday for today. Yesterday was the teacher that insinuated the importance of growth from the ability to fail, that it’s alright for mistakes to take place. Yesterday gives birth to today because today feels much better than yesterday. So yesterday, I’m asking for your forgiveness…… do you accept my apology?

– C.A. Thomas

A son’s promise.

In the 33 years of my life I’m reminded of you each time my reflection is cast through a mirror. Your blood runs through the course of my veins, your heart beats through me as your struggles become my appreciation. Not many young men have the pleasure to acknowledge their father, let alone even know a tiny detail to complete an identity that’s vital in every man’s life. I appreciate you father, I appreciate the man you’ve managed to become, the love you display, the instillness you’ve implanted in my subconscious on the importance of being not only a responsible man…… but a great man at that. I promise I will not let you down, no matter the difficulty measure Life becomes. Thank you for becoming the shadow I’d never hesitate in following.

Always,

Your son Christopher